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Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Something I wanted to get off my chest!

So as you probably already know, I've started doing youtube videos and to be honest, I didn't expect them to do too well but they're actually doing better than I thought! (Details about next vid in last post) The reason I started doing them was because I saw people like Lindy Tsang, Daniel Shim etc, people I look up to on youtube. It really warms my heart when I get a good comment or a new subscriber, honestly my heart actually feels warm! But people like Lindy actually inspire a lot of people, despite that they were always doing beauty vlogs or comedy vlogs, it was still inspiring and I've learnt a lot. I started these videos because I hope that one say I can inspire someone like me. I definetly mean someone like me, as a few years ago I was coming back from school crying every single day, because of these others girls and what they were doing to me. I had my entire yeargroup thinking I was a mean awful lier because of the things they said, and to be completely honest, in some ways, it's even worse now. But the difference is I never come home crying, I never cry at all actually. It's strange, I don't even feel sad. I cam to the conclusion that I've grown a thicker skin because of it, and it was Lindy Tsang herself that made me realise that they are in the wrong and that letting them get to me would do nothing for me.
She was bullied in her childhood as well, so hearing this and seeing how beautiful and sucessful she is now made me think I can do the exact same, and whenever I'm a bit lost I just watch her inspirational vlogs category vidoes, and by the end I'm ok again.
The reason I realised how thick a skin I'd grown was because another girl I new had gone home and stayed off school from humiliation by a few people about something, yet just before the holidays I heard for myself someone telling a big group of people in my class about something I did and I didn't feel anything from it, I just left it and didn't get hurt or sad at all.
At first I thought something was wrong with me, I even thought I had aspergers! But it turns out I've just gotten stronger. Well, so I think!
Today, I decided in the morning I'd note my whole day. The things that try to get me down, and the things that bring me up. Here's what I came up with:

Good:

  • Girl telling me she loved my art work that I hardly knew
  • Getting invited to a halloween party
  • Taking part in a secret santa
  • Not being the one sent out of my group in French to move seats
  • Being told by 20+ people that my necklace was cool:L (Pic at bottom)
  • A girl telling me she loved my hair
  • Finding out my art teacher's pregnant
  • Signing up for Music Champions event
  • R.E. 
  • Art

Bad:

  • Girl I was good friends giving other people presents that I don't particularily like!
  • Witnessing a girl tell others a lie about why she was sent out of class so they didn't judge her for what she actually did
  • Not talking to anyone all through science and being the only one listen
  • Listening to girl I know talk about me in music
  • Not talking to anyone through art
  • Listening to girl talk about girls in the class in art
  • Girl shouting "DOESNT MATTER" rudely at me, then turning to another girl and telling her what I was asking about.
  • Watching girl I used to be best friends with laughing and having a good time with another girl and then talking about me
  • Boy telling me my shoe was retarded, I told him his face was retarded
  • Blonde jokes
  • Girl I love to bits ignoring me
  • French teacher being herself. Which yes, is a bad thing for me.
So yeah that's my notes from today. If I have a particularly good/bad day I'll do it again, I suppose this was a good day for me really. Nothing was worse than usual, but things were better than usual. Yesterday was worse, but I won't list everything. Especially before the holidays when my best friend and I first started drifting and I think I counted 6 times in a week that I'd heard her talk about me, let alone when I hadn't heard her.  But it's all down to making the right friends, and thats what Lindy was getting at once, of course you are going to have a rough time if you make friends with people that aren't nice. Because, truth is, if your friend is talking about people to you, they are probably talking about you to other people.
I think a perfect friend is someone who you can trust with your life, someone who will put you first and will never fail to remember the little things, even stuff like getting you a little something when they go away to say "sorry I was gone". When you know that you can cry with them and they'll cry with you, I know in the past I've been upset and all it's done is made them happier somehow. A perfect friend won't call you a slut because you flirt with someone you really like, they won't judge you for the things you do that maybe aren't particularily cool or normal. I remember one of my friends a while ago making fun of me just because I was being friends with someone that was usually quiet and alone. I've even been made fun of for things like people I like or doing the right thing.The perfect friends are out there somewhere. They are hard to find, but luckily I have found them, so it's not impossible.
Just remember, if you feel like you've been searching forever and you can't find anyone, you are wrong because you've found me and I promise to try my best to be the perfect friend to whoever it is that really needs one.

PHEW, Feels good to get that out! Anyway, if you wanna hear more stuff like this check out my old blog, www.rantsforthought.wordpress.com

If you want me to do anything else like this on a subject you might be having trouble with then just message me:) Back to normality for tomorrows/later today's post:)

Here's the amazin' necklace I wore around school all day! (You might of seen it in my videos!)

4 comments:

  1. aww lisa, how could anyone dislike you!! :O It's great that you can just ignore it all though! You should run a problem page or something lol!! ;D Well done on this post! :D x

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  2. Thanks! Yeah I could haha <3 Don't know if I can run three pages!x

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  3. fab! i love the post ;)
    thank you so much for read my blog :D

    xoxo

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  4. Don't worry about them, Lisa! And can I just say, you inspired me to start doing blogs! I can't wait to read more of yours!
    Much love, Nicola xxo

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